a poem.

A Maiden Fair

By Matthew O’Brien

For Cristin Mahaffey

~

I heard some Angels sing a song

About a maiden fair,

And what it was that made her good:

A heart exceedingly rare,

She loved and loved and never quit;

She always told the truth,

If you met her in Bible times,

You’d swear that she was Ruth,

But the world gave her heart troubles,

She cried many heavy nights,

She locked herself in darkness

And tried to shut out light,

She wandered over all the earth

With nowhere she could stay,

She hacked herself to pieces,

And gave herself away,

As the Angels sang and sang,

I started, thus, to cry,

This Maiden’s tale of sadness could

Be lived by you or I,

But when they started up again,

My broken heart did leap,

They sang of Love redeeming;

Forgiveness mountains steep,

The Maiden’s sin was paid for,

God’s own Son did affect,

He gave her, then, a new heart,

His image to reflect,

Then He set her in the sky,

A diamond in the night,

And everyone she shined upon

Saw better by her light,

She started feeling lonely,

Way up there all alone,

She asked God for another star

With whom to make a home,

So God came down to see her, and said,

“I’ve just the thing in mind,

I’ve humbled and restored him;

He’s really just your kind,”

“He’s also very different,

He might not shine as bright,

You’ll know him when you see him;

You’ll find he fits just right.”

At this my heart was pounding,

For I knew I’d seen this star,

She danced across my deepest dreams,

Enchanting from afar,

And now I write this silly verse,

To you, My Darling Sweet,

For now in truth, I do believe,

Two stars can, happy, meet.

Pluralism

Aa a chaplain I have gotten extremely used to conversing about pluralism, as it is the environment in which I minister. It is, I believe, the environment in which we all minister. The Churches refusal to acknowledge this leads to a divisive conservatism that alienates and destroys credibility. The beauty of Pluralism is that it allows, even demands interfaith dialogue. Conservatives seem to be so obsessed with portraying the superiority of their religion, that they neglect the open seat at the table of ideas, and their opportunity for authentic discussion and consideration of others.

Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch in their book The Shaping of Things to Come make specific note that there seem to be two theories of how to encounter any culture, and in our western world, it is a culture of pluralism. One can attempt to create walls, and further barriers to God, in hopes of keeping the culture out, or one can venture into the culture and create wells, centers of life that people cannot help but stay away from. By necessity, we must be people of the well, joining a diverse and global community, living a faith that is not agreeable to people, but doing it in such a way that communicates love and respect despite our differences. Pluralism is not affirming other people's faith, it is affirming their right to believe. And without that, the church as it is today would not be possible.

Zen

A while ago, someone pointed out to me that there is a quality to my discourse, even to my faith that seems more like Zen than Christianity. I think that is worth noting, because, as I examine thought patterns such as the tao, I believe there is truth that is there, though I believe there are also lies that must be discerned.

Zen, especially as I have begun to practice yoga has a great deal of appeal to me. Being an Enneagram 9, my highest value is being at peace, both within and without. "Holding center in the midst of chaos" is one of my favorite phrases from my favorite yoga routine. I think there is a similarity in the cathartic nature of meditation and the open-handed mentality, and releasing things to God that my faith calls for.

However, the emphasis and end state of these ways of thinking are not compatible. Zen seeks nothingness, emptiness being it's own goal. Christ calls us to be renewed, to die (shivasana) that we might be raised, and to fill our minds with the goodness and love of God. The peace of Christ allows us not only to be at peace within ourselves, but to go forth into the world as peacemakers.

This is the difference between the peaces. Peace of mind retreats inward, Peace of Christ launches out into the lives of others, not passively letting them go, "dropping weight", but embracing them in love, bearing their burdens, and making peace. I believe this is in part what God is calling me to do, but it is always a struggle to step out of myself. So much of this lines up with my enneagram results. It has been truly challenging to grow through and I continue today to step into awareness, and embrace others in peace.

School

There are a lot of differences between being in middle school and teaching it. I have never really thought much about my early education, but I never really knew much about my teachers. I just accepted that there were my teachers. I don't remember thinking about the personal life or normal non-school activities of my teachers. I viewed them as very 1-dimensional.

Someone just pointed out to me that this may mbe a much more west-coast mono-generational way of looking at things. As kids in Louisiana ask all sorts of questions about me, are they just being irritating and curious, or do they expect to relate to their teachers as people, not just teachers?

I don't know, but I tend to be a very accepting person, and sometimes that is to my detriment, so maybe it's a healthy curiosity. Either way, Louisiana kids are not very good at staying task :(

Lent

This year I'm celebrating Lent for the first time, and I'm actually going about it in kind of an extreme way, rather than in a small or simple way. Which might lead to problems in being successful. I've always been a lofty goals type of person, and somewhat of an extremist.

So today, I begin the journey of Lent. I went to a catholic mass for the first time (unless you count catholic field services back when I was a Chaplain for ROTC cadets, which I don't) and it happened to be the Ash Wednesday today.

The homily was very good, it was essentially that Lent is a celebration, not a hardship. It is a celebration of the sufficiency of Jesus Christ for sinners, and an opportunity for us to step into the redemption process, and to grow in ways that God wants us to grow as people, through denying that which may distract or threaten us, and embracing that will enhance and challenge us.

So, I don't feel like listing my Lent stuff in full, the two main things are that 1) I will be attempting to blog everyday. 2) Cristin and I are doing a Paleo Diet Cleanse. I'm very excited about the opportunities to grow through these challenges, and to enbrace a more disciplined life than before.

Right now I'm more excited about this than I was about Mardi Gras, which was a complete success full of awesome people and good times. Also, I've been horrible about taking pictures since I moved here, and that's not a Lent thing, but I am going to take out and charge my camera, so that might start happening.

Letter to God

Dear God,

I am messed up. Life is this awful mess, just a 7-layer dip of emotions and sinfulness, and somewhere in it you have plunged, like the Dorito chip of life, like a divine instrument of deliverance, to fetch my perishing ass. I love chaos too much. Genesis 1:2 is me, a pandemonium of cyanide cocktails and death-dealing blows to the head, a senseless rubrich of all that is wrong.

And Yet, Christ is for me. I know that, like an undeniable fact, but not a mere fact. It is a riot of positive energy overtaking my like the fog. There is nowhere to run from your awesome love and goodness when I commune with you, when I surrender and come in, it's as though I've known an old friend from before the war. Like a grandma in a cookie kitchen, you welcome me in, take care of m

e, put me at ease, and comfort my broken heart. You restore me to a good conscience, and break the bonds that hold me fast. Your love opens all doors, restores all walls, builds all foundations anew, desires all

good, and magnifies all that is glorious and honorable. You are the only Blessing and in you are all blessings.

God give me strength that I cannot claim as my own, clarity like light, and a heart that won't give up. You love me so much, allow me to hurt with love for others, and alert my conciousness to your sublime presence in all things.

Writing

ANNOUNCEMENT:

I am hoping to get back into the spirit of blogging by posting a lot more, my hopefully faithful handful of readers.

Probably at the expense of quality.

That is all.

Jesus and Religion

So this video is blowing up on youtube, and while many commentators have pointed out some of its more obvious flaws, I thought I'd just post about it.

Apart from one of the worst quotables "I'm not judgin', I'm just sayin', 'Quit putting on a fake look!' That's called judging, friend.

So, obviously the problem is that he doesn't really clearly define religion. Because religion could be defined in a lot of different ways. Most everyone does something religiously, be it watch sports, drink coffee, go to church, whatever. The question to me isn't are you religions, but are you religious about what you say you believe in? He also talks about Christ's obediene, the object of which is true religion, and that is defined in James 1:26-27, Micah 6:8, and a variety of other scriptures.

In a way it's almost like he's saying he hate religion, because religion is religious about the wrong things, and you should be religious about Jesus. But then he says being religious about Jesus means being religious about doing works and abstaining from behaviors. So, maybe that's just what I'm hearing but, it sounds horribly confusing with the language he uses.

Also, I think this guy resonates with a lot of millenials who have horrible experiences with institutions, politics and cultures, but not with what James calls true religion, which addresses all the issues this guy raises.

That's all. Oh, one of the critique videos by TheAmazingAtheist had a hilarious bit in it about how what this guy was saying made no sense, and was as much hype as any commercial on TV. When you replace "Jesus" with "Coke", and "Religion" with "Soda" in parts of his discourse, you really see what he means.

Just some thoughts, trying to get back into the blog swing.

DADT

The repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell last year had many people up in arms, but, I'm still not entirely sure why. It's been a non-issue. But I'm sure there are thousands of micro-issues that have been dealt with. I imagine there are a lot of words out there on this subject, but as a Chaplain I think how we treat others is a matter of integrity, and discriminating against others because of a sinful lifestyle doesn't make any sense. If you tried to kick out every Soldier that had a flaw or a past, you wouldn't have many soldiers to choose from. There are a variety of Soldier lifestyles that I disagree with, but I still affirm each and everyone that puts on the uniform as a Soldier. I believe all Americans who are willing and able to serve have the right and honor to do so, and there are a variety of poor choices that Soldiers make that do not affect their ability to fulfill their duties and responsibilities. That is their freedom and right. The same rights that allows us to worship in whatever way we choose.

I was reminded of this issue because of another story in this video. It will probably get mixed reviews.



I'm not writing to say this or that about homosexuals, but I found myself surprised to agree with the commentators (not that I would ever agree with Santorum or the Pope). But the point that I loved was that what we need is people who are intentional about child-rearing. Anyone that is willing to sacrifice and love a child and raise them as a valuable member of society, that person should be allowed to adopt. Their orientation, or personal likes don't enter into it in my mind, cause we're all sinful.

I am share the sentiments of Keanu Reeves in Parenthood when comments on how people are required to get licenses for handguns, dog ownership, fishing & hunting, but somehow, anyone can make a baby. SMH.

Tebow & Me

I was watching the highlights of the Bronco's game yesterday, and thinking about Tim Tebow. I've had a couple discussions recently about the similarities between America and Rome, and the nature of the mob. The public loves to create and establish heroes, and the latest trend has really been to create heroes and then to destroy them, and see them laid to waste. Guys like Tiger Woods. The media wants to do everything they can to put strong good-looking americans on the front of Wheaties boxes. Then TMZ wants to tell everyone that it's actually not Wheaties, but a cocktail of steroids, heroin, and horse tranquilizer.

Then there's Tim Tebow. As an outspoken evangelical devoid the Michelle Bachmann whack-job theology, or an Osteen-esque prosperity matrix, I like Tim Tebow. As one of the greatest college quarterback careers of all time, I like him even better. I'm non-plussed by his pro career so far, but his tenacity mixed with the right circumstances and style of offense, certainly yields some headline making results.

I follow Skip Bayless on twitter, a Tebow Supporter and ESPN pundit, and he's always quick to point out that Tebow has what it takes to be a pro quarterback, given the right circumstances, personnel and strategy around him. I agree with that. He's also quick to point out the polarizing power of Tebow, and the hordes of anti-Tebow sentiment, often with incredulity.

But I think I get it, I think he was America as a college quarterback, with a squeaky clean image, and people want him to be a bust, they want him to be Ryan Leaf. Ryan Leaf might be worthless under center, but he's infamous. Every draft day they show that clip of him yelling like a 5-year-old at a locker room journalist. Celebrity tabloid world is just human nascar, waiting to erupt.

I'm not really going where you think I might be, but I do hope Tebow illustrates overcoming, and redemption, I hope he stays the course, and stays humble, and is always willing to admit his wrongs and his mistakes, and for all the right reasons too. I think his interviews betray an indomitable will based on his belief system, that anything is possible, but you have to get in there and keep trying, doing, reacting.

I believe that God, as much as he cares about our past and the things we've done, cares way more about the choices in front of us. Something i have learned from the bible is that GOd accounts for our wrongdoing, our mistakes, but his willingness to redeem comes with an opportunity to make a better choice the next time. The mystery of God's sovereignty is that it is all about his glory through our choices.

But, on a much lighter note, tonight, as I was thinking about one of my favorite subjects, romantic relationships, I made a connection to the world's perception of Tebow. This is totally non-linear. But, I am like Tim Tebow vs. the Dolphins when it comes to relationships. No matter how many false starts and fumbles, incompletions, and misperceptions of the defense I have made, my commitment is to getting better, taking it one day at a time, and hopefully having a really spectacular 4th quarter. It holds true one step forward in that, I don't look or act like someone that is the prototype for the position I want to play. I might not have the ideal skillset, or be able to contribute in a flashy way. There are always people willing to dismiss me, but I also have a number of fans that encourage me along the way, and hope that I will succeed. Like Tebow's fans, they are powerless to help me, and I'll only ever have success if I forget the emotional toll that the first 3 quarters have taken, and get back out there ready to play.

In the words of Hank Williams, Jr. "Are you ready for some football?"

Updates

No updates in two months, so I must be dead, right? Or something...

I just completed a move to New Orleans, which is sort of hanging in the balance cause I'm also navigating the paperwork jungle of the army, and actually going away for some training soon. I have about 50 blog posts with just titles, or titles and a single paragraph, some of which I don't even remember what I was going to write, and others I just want to actually be good.

But blogging is clearly not my priority, or a means of processing for me.

But soon, I will write things of worth, hopefully. And maybe even more often.

Artist ABC's

My favorite musical artists (That I actually possess in my itunes) by alphabetical alignment (some of these might surprise you)

A - Angel's & Airwaves

B - Barcelona

C - Christina Perri

D - Death Cab for Cutie

E - Explosions in the Sky

F - Foo Fighters

G - Green Day

H - Hans Zimmer

I - Iron & Wine

J - Johnny Cash

K - Kid Rock

L - Lauryn hill

M - Metallica

N - Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds

O - Oasis

P - Paramore

Q - Queen

R - Royal Crown Review

S - Smashing Pumpkins

T - Taylor Swift

U - U2

V - Viktor Mastoridis

W - The White Stripes

X - X-ecutioners

Y - Yellowcard

Z - ZZ Top

I am obviously from the 90's

Essential Functions

I'm gearing up for another Sunday and looking forward to a concert style event in which I am an audience member, and really just a consumer, so I thought about what I think are the essential functions of a church service, since I was actually privileged to perform such services in the military setting in July. That was great, but actually being in charge forced me to ask what was essential, and the reality is, it comes down to resources. The fact is there are sermons and music available to people all the time, so those aren't the vitality of the sunday event. But when people are starved for those things, it's important to bring the word, and to allow people to celebrate in song. It's also vital to get out of the lecture hall and into a dialogue. Service needs to be two ways. Time in prayer/fellowship is important. Also communion, and recognizing that the cup is really what it's all about. I'm no Catholic, but I do think that renewing communion with Christ is the central function of a gathering of believers. Ultimately what we want is a renewed and restored faith. Service's must be practical. Most of this doesn't come through to me at my sunday event, sadly, but I am willing to believe that it is dependent on my effort, and that I am not meant to be a consumer.

eHarm, superlatives, and finding out how to tell someone you care about them

I feel like I write "against" things a lot. Doesn't really matter since I have so few readers, but I hope I can generate enough interest to offend someone. But I'm not even trying to correct people when I write, it's just thoughts and attitudes that I hear in culture strike me, and boom. Blogging is born. So here we go.

So I'm dating a girl now, which might be news to two of the people that read this, it's been a fun journey the last two years since I've been actively dating, and I finally found a fun, sweet, beautiful girl that has the misfortune of liking me back, so, boom, dating. I met her through a website called "eharmony" which was an all together interesting experience. In total I think I met 20+ women from the sight and I went on a real actual date with about a dozen. I rejected or was rejected by over 1000. I want to make concessions about how some girls were really great, and the circumstances just didn't work out, but, that's more because I want to see myself as the hero. If I felt a connection with someone and didn't pursue them, then that was my decision, so it still counts, even though it wasn't an "outright" rejection.

Obviously this is kind of a "fake" way of doing things in the sense, that, if some of those women had met me in person instead of seeing my online profile, (which according to one girl who met me anyway was "not very good.") or if I had met them in person, "organicly", we would not reject each other instantly and never speak to one another. And there's probably no way based on my lifestyle that I could possibly meet or even see that many women without the assistance of a dating sight. I've never even gone to a bar to meet women. This is a flexible reality, a wormhole through which I am seeking to find a mate. And so you learn to make snap decisions based on extremely limited information, and you judge by a few pictures whether you're attracted to them.

What bothered me a LOT about the process was that the site is designed to put people into competition with one another. You can even tell by the frequency of contact, whether another person is pursuing more than one potential mate. I'm not sure if this is as much a problem for girls, but it's definitely something guys do all the time. I took a vow (I know, a "vow", it just got REAL) to not compare women to one another in my online endeavors, or really in my life. Even when I was meeting multiple girls in a weekend, I was just going to treat each person as a unique experience.

Competition and comparison are so ingrained in us as a culture, that this probably sounds weird. I wasn't going to reject one girl because she "wasn't as pretty" as another, or "I didn't have as much fun as with someone else." I think this is the root of totally objectifying women, and is not a healthy way to choose a mate. The reason I realize this now is because through my twitter and facebook account there flows a constant stream of comparative and superlative language that defines our relationships. Which in a way, is kind of insulting, because you're unconciously saying that your connection with a person is worthwhile because it's stronger than your connection with someone else. Which to me, is meaningless. I'm kind of an idealist, and kind of a pragmatist, and yes, I have arguments with myself. I'm dating the girl I'm dating now because I think she is beautiful, smart, kind, funny, and really I could go on for a while. But it literally has nothing to do with anything anyone else does or is. I like her for her. It has taken time and conscious effort to feel that way about anyone. I also think this comparative way of rating people is the reason cheating is so common.

Maybe I'm totally off, maybe when everyone uses comparative language, it's just idiomatic. One of my longstanding family jokes is every time my mom does something wonderful, even the smallest things, I tell her she's "the best." As if I could compare my mom to anyone as a mom. It has nothing to do with her being better than any one else. It's because she's MY mom. Saying "you're the best" is a joke because being the best is nowhere near good enough to describe how I feel about my mom. Superlative language is limited to the field of comparison. (Using comparative language to analyze how we rate things is ironic, so two points to you if you were able to catch me in that little self-referential snare).

I have had some weird dating experiences, and I have been (foolishly) in love with other girls. The other day I was talking to a friend who was mourning a failed attempt at love, but in the phase where he might start dating again, and we were discussing potential love interests. He told me that he thought that a couple girls were nice, but he didn't feel towards them the way he felt towards his former girlfriend. I submit that you never will feel that way again. That was a unique experience, tailored to you two as unique individuals. You'll never feel exactly the same way about two girls in your life. That's not the point of those relationships. I'll never feel about Elise how I felt towards any other girl. It's not better or worse. It's just different. And being with Elise is a wonderful, wonderful experience.

I'm not sure if this captures my thoughts exactly, typing it out before church while I'm sick and operating on 4 hours sleep. But I'll post it all the same.

An example of prophecy.

Bad Religion - 21st Century Digital Boy

Release date: September 6, 1994

Release date: March 1, 2011