When I shall die, I think there are many common practices which i wish that were not to be observed.
First and foremost of these is a lack of burial. I shall be cremated and scattered, and no memorial or place holder shall be retained. Neither a grave nor a plaque nor any mark or notation shall commemorate my earthly residence. If any event is held in my remembrance, it will be a wake where people will drink, tell stories and laugh. The people will refrain from romanticizing or grandizing or idealizing my accomplishments on earth. If we were not on good terms, they are not to act as though we were. The only professional oration, or particular remarks made by a member of the clergy will chiefly concern my incredible frailty as a human being and my absolute and enduring need and utter dependence on God. I would not like to be remembered for things which were not true when I was alive. I simply want people to know that I am a failure, but Jesus changed my life and made me worthwhile. His sacrifice alone is the crowning glory of my life. Any who experienced me as good merely saw a shade of Jesus, and anyone who saw me at my worst knew the real me. I am not good, great, wonderful, thoughtful, considerate, or any other word that you may try to use to describe and flatter the memory of me in my fortunate absence. I am poor, weak, selfish, disgusting. I did not live up to my potential. I am a failure. The success of my life, the victory of my life, the thing which all the living can celebrate when I am gone is Jesus. Jesus won me on the Cross, and called me to follow him in his ressurection. I responded, however inadequately. I NEEDED Jesus. I felt this acutely every morning. That is something you can remember me for. That is all. I spent as much time as anyone wishing for things that never came true. I was not a very good friend. I experienced the joy of the LORD, and that is what gave my life purpose and meaning. Nothing of myself ever profited me, or anybody, it was God alone acting through me that may have benefited any person.
Matt O'Brien, Age 27
